midnight musings

For a sister
waiting is hard.. very very hard.. may have after 40 plus years of searching found the last lost sibling. i have attempted first contact. and now i wait.. will she see it. will she Want to see it. will she answer. do i want to see her answer.. i can only hope she will want to connect even a little bit. scary thing is i dont know if she even knows she was adopted.. and we are pretty much sure its her..

i dont expect much From her, actually. i just need to fill in the holes of my past. she is part of that.. - i hope she will understand that. if allowed by her i would welcome her to the family with open arms & will try very hard to not push too hard..

finding missing people is a mixed bag. my birthfather was a happy story -my birth grandmother was just awful (long story) my one half brother has not connected by his choice but he's the same with his adopted family so it is what it is. i got family info to him and now its in his court.. makes me a bit sad but i did what I needed. i connected the puzzle piece. the half sister i did not know about has turned out good - she found me to answer Her questions :) - now i wait for the half sister i did know of..
and i am so not good at waiting... sigh..

scared excited impatient.. yea am all of these..
and i hope