midnight musings

For a sister
waiting is hard.. very very hard.. may have after 40 plus years of searching found the last lost sibling. i have attempted first contact. and now i wait.. will she see it. will she Want to see it. will she answer. do i want to see her answer.. i can only hope she will want to connect even a little bit. scary thing is i dont know if she even knows she was adopted.. and we are pretty much sure its her..

i dont expect much From her, actually. i just need to fill in the holes of my past. she is part of that.. - i hope she will understand that. if allowed by her i would welcome her to the family with open arms & will try very hard to not push too hard..

finding missing people is a mixed bag. my birthfather was a happy story -my birth grandmother was just awful (long story) my one half brother has not connected by his choice but he's the same with his adopted family so it is what it is. i got family info to him and now its in his court.. makes me a bit sad but i did what I needed. i connected the puzzle piece. the half sister i did not know about has turned out good - she found me to answer Her questions :) - now i wait for the half sister i did know of..
and i am so not good at waiting... sigh..

scared excited impatient.. yea am all of these..
and i hope

a simple rant/commentary:
For all of you who subscribe to the "What about-itis syndrome*

first and foremost i would like to REMIND everyone of the definition of extremist " this is relevant & important

noun - "a person who holds extreme or fanatical political or religious views, especially one who resorts to or advocates extreme action". (up to and including cold blooded murder)

My point here is THAT ALL GROUPS of every walk of life has a small portion of extremists within it.
ALL groups..

the Difference here being that approx 98% of those groups are NOT led by or even adhere to any form of that extremism- groups that the so called alt right love to hang out a flag and whine about - groups like Black Lives Matter, something they call Antifa. (a group against Fascism is bad? in point of fact i can see why THEY hate them (see below)** - Planned Parenthood, etc etc etc....... NOTE THESE GROUPS are NOT led by nor even espouse the extreme portions of their own groups yet the alt right do everything they can to convince anyone they can otherwise..

THE DIFFERENCE BEING??? the alt right groups such as the KKK and the various NEO Nazis - are a WHOLE different kettle of fish gone bad. they ARE run by their extremists their entire entity is BASED on extremism.. the rare times i have seen where someone tried to go moderately, their OWN groups have gone after them like a shark feed frenzy..

SO DONT TRY wimping out with the "WHAT ABOUT?????" whine. its nothing but an attempt at a cop out. IF YOU DONT Believe in the hatefilled violence driven alt right DO NOT - I REPEAT - DO NOT try the 'the left is just as bad' whine. they are not. they never will be. - their VERY EXISTENCE is predicated on the OPPOSITE side of what the neo nazis and groups like the kkk represent.

if you use this excuse - you are actually CONDONING WHAT they stand for. and i for one REFUSE to have any part of that..
EVER..
i have served my country in 2 services. I CONTINUE to serve her in Standing up TO the hate and standing up FOR those willing to fight that hate.

*(a reminder that 'itis' refers to inflamation of..)

** the Antifa are autonomous anti-racist groups that monitor and track the activities of local neo-Nazis. They expose them to their neighbors and employers, they conduct public education campaigns, they support migrants and refugees and they pressure venues to cancel white power events.

i think i have lived in the desert far too long...
channel surfing and came to some sort of nature program that had no voice-over.. just pics..
and realized immediately i knew where it was.. 

so kept watching. it seemed to be featuring different animals & plants and some behaviors where the two came together on a very hot summer day (you could tell by the by their behaviors)

about 10 minutes or so later i realized i knew what Every single animal and plant & bug (save one) they showed..

i am not sure, but that doesn't sound terribly normal to me..

tho my amateur naturalist desert freak of a dad would probably approve..
hahahaha